Adoption, Part 2

Well, here it goes.  Part 2.

*If you missed part 1, you can read it here: http://hisstrengthnotmine.blogspot.in/2014/07/adoption-part-1.html*

When I blog, I typically share all the good moments.  The victories, milestones, and funny stories.  Today I'm going to share with you some of the hard stuff.  I'm not going to sugar-coat it.  We can pretend otherwise, but these are the hard truths and it's time we talked about them.

As I did in part 1, I'm going to tell the story of two girls close to my heart.  Two of my own actually.

The first is Promise.

At 16 years of age, her time has passed for the chance of being adopted.

For Promise, the dream of a forever family will never come true.

SCH is by far the next best option for her and will never turn her out, but I am still so saddened by the thought that she will never have a mom and a dad all to herself.  Her life will always be full of people coming and going, an endless cycle of change.  Better than being in an orphanage but still not ideal.

Unlike most of our kids, I believe that Promise knows what it's like to live in a loving family.  Rather than being abandoned in some random place, Promise was handed over to the orphanage by her mom.  And at a much older age than most.

While we have no idea why she was given up,  in the pictures from that time Promise looks happy and well taken care of.  In the file it says that she even spoke a few words (could be inaccurate information though).  I believe that she was in fact loved by her family but they eventually couldn't afford to care for all of her medical needs and had to give her up.

I'm not sure if that's actually what happened but it would make sense.

By the time Promise arrived at SCH a few years later she was completely non-verbal and very sickly.  Her untreated medical conditions and orphanage life had taken their tolls on both her body and her spirit.  She has only recently become completely medically stable and has slowly started coming out of herself.  Now, after many long, hard years, Promise is a girl full of joy once again.

I am grateful.

Grateful Promise is a part of our family.  Grateful God called us to her.  Grateful He has restored her joy.  Grateful SCH will always take care of her.  Grateful she knows what it is to be loved.

But I am also sad.

Sad that Promise will never get a second chance at a family.  Sad that one day I may not be able to be here for her anymore.  Sad that this has to be her permanent home and not just an in between place.  Sad that no one will have the blessing of Promise permanently in their life.

Lily has a very different story...

Lily was abandoned at the age of 4 - old enough to remember.

Before you move on, do me a favor - think about that for a second.  Don't read over it quickly and move on. Let it sink in.  When you were a kid did you ever lose track of your parents in a store or something for a few moments?  Remember the sheer terror that went through you?  That's what Lily went through except her parents never came back.  They had decided they didn't want her anymore, brought her to a train station, and just left.  I can not even begin to imagine what that would feel like.

After that, she was sent to an overcrowded orphanage where she most likely was completely ignored and written off.  After a few years there, she came to SCH.

Lily is so smart.  She listens to everything going on around her and understands it all, but because she has Cerebral Palsy and doesn't speak, everyone assumes she doesn't understand or fully comprehend.  Trust me, she gets it.

Understandably, Lily now struggles a lot emotionally.

She is overly affectionate to everyone - even complete strangers.  She has no concept of what proper interaction is and is ready to shower anyone with hugs and snuggles - be it family, friends, new volunteers, or the random lady sitting next to us at church.  We have been trying to teach her what is proper with each group and while she has made a lot of progress, this is still an area she struggles a lot in.

Lily also lives in constant fear of abandonment.  Our ayahs each get 4 days off every month and Nikki and I each have to leave the country every 6 months and are usually gone for around a month at a time.  While she handles it better every time, Lily still really struggles whenever one of the members of our family is missing.  When I first arrived in December, Nikki and Sarah (who had been fostering together for 6 months) had to leave to go back to Canada and within the next 2 weeks, both ayahs that had been with the kids for the previous 5 months went on leave.  That left the kids with only me and a seemingly endless number of new ayahs coming in and out.  Lily had only just met me, but I was the only one still there and she attached herself to me in an unhealthy way.  I couldn't even go downstairs without coming back up to find Lily crying at the door calling for me.  Even after Nikki came back, it still took Lily a few weeks to even out emotionally.

Even though she understands now that we are coming back, she still acts out emotionally in strange ways when we are gone.  Nikki and I have never both been gone overnight and we always make sure we let Lily know where we are going and when we'll be back when we go out.  We want her to know that she never has to worry about us leaving without telling her.  We want her to know that while we may have to leave sometimes, we will never abandon her.

The problem is, one day both of us are going to have to leave.  Yet I don't know how I could ever leave Lily now.  I don't think I could put her through that again.  It breaks my heart just thinking about it.

Yet that is the horrible truth.  People are always going to come and go.  Lily will never have the stability of someone there for her permanently.  That is, unless she gets adopted.

While the thought of any of my kids leaving me breaks my heart, I can't think of a better option for Lily than adoption.  Actually, I don't want to think of any of the other options.

Those other options hit me in the face this week.  My kids getting adopted has always been a sure thing in my mind.  The very obvious next step.  But what if they don't?

Lily is almost 10.  She only has a few short years left before she ages out.

I've done the math too - by the time I would be old enough to adopt her myself, she would be too old for it to be possible.

So what would happen then?  Honestly, I can't think about it.

She could have such a bright future but sadly we don't have the resources here to help her reach her fullest potential.

Really all I can do right now is pray.  Pray that the Lord puts it on a family's heart to adopt Lily before it's too late.

Please join me in prayer.  Let's flood the throne room of our King with unending petitions for this daughter of His.

Please pray for Lily.

Please share her story with everyone you know.

Please pray that God will bring Lily a family.

Please pray and ask if it just might be you...