No Regrets

Wow!  What a week!

In the past 8 days I have traveled to my other home in Southern California to spend some time with my family and then back here again, to my Indian home.

It has been hard, crazy, exhausting week but through it all the overwhelming theme has been God's amazing love and grace.  I stand in awe once again of how much He cares for me.

So let me brag for a minute about how awesome my God is!

A few weeks ago I got word that my grandpa was in the hospital and not doing well.  2 weeks ago, my dad called me to tell me that my grandpa was dying and there was nothing they could do about it.  All the family was flying out there to visit and say goodbye and here I was in India knowing I would never see my grandpa again.

The couple days after I found out were really tough.  It is so hard being away from family at a time like this.

Last Sunday, at our foster mom prayer meeting, I shared what was going on and then kind of broke down as all my sisters gathered round and prayed for me, my grandpa, and my family.

On Sunday night, someone contacted me and said they wanted to pay for me to go visit my family as soon as possible if that's what I wanted.

I was so overwhelmed and surprised, I couldn't even think.  I had prayed for so many things but it had never even crossed my mind to pray for that!  I had just accepted the fact that I couldn't be there.  Now here was my chance to go - but did I actually want to?

Monday morning I was in a flurry.  I had to decide as soon as possible and I had no idea what to do.

I made a list of all the things I would need to do before I left and all the things I would need to ask someone to take care of for me while I was gone.  I played all the potential scenarios out in my mind.  I called my sister, Taryn to discuss all the pros and cons of going.

I realized that there was a very long list of cons - from the potential of my grandpa being gone by the time I arrived, to 4 days of travel for only 5 days of visiting, to having to make things work here so I could be gone.  It was a long list.  The pros?  I would have the chance to maybe be able to say goodbye to my grandpa and would get a few days with family.

Was that enough to outweigh all the cons?

I had no idea what to do, so I sat down and prayed.  Then it all became clear.

I realized that God had put this opportunity in front of me for a reason.  I also realized that I would regret it forever if I had a chance to go and didn't take it.

I made sure everyone was okay with me going and willing to cover, then booked my flight.  10 hours later, I was on my way.

I hadn't told anyone in California that I was coming besides Taryn and decided to keep it that way.  I wanted this to be a trip exclusively for family (I will still be returning for a month in December as planned to see everyone else).  Taryn and my brother came to get me at the airport and we surprised my parents and younger sister.  Then I got to surprise my grandpa.  I will never forget the look on his face when I walked into that hospital room.

In that moment, I knew it was all worth it.

The 5 days went by way too quickly, but I am so grateful for every moment I had with my family.

Looking back, it is so amazing how God worked out every little detail and how everything just fell into place.

He knew exactly what I needed before I did and gave me more than I had even thought to pray for.

I am completely exhausted - physically, mentally, and emotionally.

I am also so incredibly blessed.

I got to see my grandpa again.  I got to tell him that Jesus loves him.  I got to say goodbye.

Looking back on this past week, I have no regrets.

Please pray for my grandpa.  He does not know the Lord.  Please pray that in his last days, the scales would fall off his eyes and he would see Jesus.  That one day, I can see my grandpa again in the presence of our King.

Please also pray for my family as we go through this tough time.

Thank you.

*Update:  A few hours after writing this, my grandpa passed away.  Thank you to those of you who were praying for him.  Please continue to keep our family in your prayers.