This is the second in a series of letters to Brianna. You can read the first part here: Dear Brianna
Dear Brianna,
Wow. It's crazy to think how far you've come since the last letter I wrote you. You've seen so many milestones this past month - especially in the past week or so. I am so proud of you!
You are pretty settled in our home now. It is a familiar place and you seem to be comfortable here. I think the transition period is over and now our challenges are sensory-related.
You don't like going other places and are usually really fussy whenever we go outside the house. You are getting more and more familiar with Gymboree though and seem to be comfortable there now. At first you would cry from the second we walked in the door till we got in the auto to go home. On a good day I would come home excited to tell Nikki that you made it through a whole song with a neutral expression. Until just recently, the teachers and other parents had never even seen you smile! You are much happier there now though and typically only cry when it's time to crawl on the equipment or play baby soccer. For some reason you just really don't like the soccer balls!
The first time you ever held onto a toy willingly was at Gymboree class a few weeks ago. Every child was given a rattle and for the first time you took it in your hand instead of pulling away and crying. You just held it at your side but it was such a huge moment - I actually started tearing up I was so happy. Since then you consistently hold it but still don't really try to shake it.
Just a few weeks ago you started walking while holding my hands! You did so well the first day but haven't really made much progress since then as once you figured out what I wanted you to do, you started being stubborn about it. Your standing is getting so much steadier though and I don't think it will be long before you are standing up all on your own!
You still enjoy reading time but are getting more picky about the books we read. Your favorite book is Mortimer by Robert Munsch. When I read Mortimer with you, your face lights up. You are engaged and happy the whole book but then if I start reading something different, you start whining and wiggling until I go back to Mortimer - at which time you start smiling again. I've learned ending with Mortimer is best ;)
Another one of your favorites right now is Love You Forever, also by Robert Munsch. You must really like his writing! You have caught on now and rock whenever the "back and forth, back and forth, back and forth" part comes - it is the cutest thing! My mom used to read that book to me a lot when I was little and I thought she was crazy because she would cry every time. I understand now though and cry every time I read it with you. I hope you don't think I'm crazy but know I cry because of how much I love you.
You have recently started tolerating touch and feel books much better and on a good day will make it through 2 of them with only a few whines and no tears. You're getting there!
You also started holding my fingers and playing with my hands, began reaching up to feel my face, discovered your feet and play with them all the time, and always have your fingers in your mouth or are making funny noises with your tongue. You seem to be gaining an awareness of your body and those of the people around you.
Food still continues to be your biggest challenge. You are eating a bottle of formula with baby food mixed in well now and have been known to now throw a fit if I'm lazy and don't add the baby food - huge progress as it used to be the opposite. You love the banana one but still aren't quite sold on the pear flavor. At least you tolerate it though.
Eating with a spoon is a whole other matter. You won't even let me feed you the same mixture from your bottle by spoon, much less anything else. We are making you eat a small portion of a thick apple cinnamon baby food a few times a day though. You don't like it and try to spit it out but eventually will eat a few bites. We also try to periodically introduce new foods but that typically doesn't go well at all and we're lucky if you swallow one bite. It's something though and I think with enough exposure you'll start to tolerate it better and better. I'm looking forward to the day you eat rice and curry with the rest of the big kids!
You are starting to babble so much more. At night especially, you will experiment with new sounds and chat away. If I blow a raspberry on your cheek, you try to copy it and blow one yourself - it's kind of the cutest thing ever! You also started mimicking your first sound: ah-da. It's the only thing you will repeat fairly consistently right now but it's a start!
You've been consistently making little bits of progress but 10 days ago you seemed to turn a corner.
Monday, April 6th was the best day ever!
On that day last week, I turned on music and pulled out some musical instruments to play with you as I usually do. You would typically let me shake a maraca or tambourine hand over hand and maybe allow me to put your hands on a drum to feel the vibrations as I played it, but that was it.
But on this day it was different.
I put the drum in front of you and tapped your hands against it a few times. Then instead of pulling away, you kept playing it on your own, alternating between banging on the drum with both hands and clapping. I couldn't believe my eyes! After that you held a maraca and tried to shake it on your own, then put it in your lap and started hitting it to make the sound. I wasn't sure how far this would go and figured I was pressing my luck but I brought you out into the living room and sat you on the couch with the drum. Instead of the usual cries at sitting up on the couch, you kept playing the drum. Then I gave you a ball. You had never even touched a ball without crying before, yet you started bouncing your hands up and down on it and giggling. I tried one toy after another and with each one you felt it, tapped it, and played with it in some way. I was on cloud nine and couldn't contain myself!
The next day you did it again. Not quite as well, but you were playing on your own (and have continued to do so)! Then I decided to put you in a bucket of water. In the past you have totally hated being put in water. This time though, you sat and splashed around, giggling and playing. Every day since then I have set aside some time for you to play in water and you love it! Even when you are in a bad mood and crying, water will cheer you up and turn your mood around.
The following day I attempted shaving cream. I thought that was where the good streak would end. It was only the third time you had played in shaving cream. The first time you screamed. The second time you cried at first but eventually calmed down and stayed still, tolerating it. Yet this third time you surprised me yet again, playing in it as well as you had in the water! You squished it between your fingers and rubbed it over the sides of the bucket. All with a giant smile on your face. I couldn't believe my eyes!
Since then you have continued making progress. It is slow, but it is coming. Little by little. You're becoming a whole new girl and I couldn't be prouder of all you have overcome.
In just four weeks I will be heading to America for a month. The thought of leaving you for such a long time is killing me. While I know you will be well cared for and loved, there isn't really anyone else who knows you like I do or that you have created a strong attachment to. You also won't understand why I'm leaving or that I'll be coming back. To you, it may seem like I have left you. The thought of that breaks my heart.
I'm also going to miss you. A LOT.
Even when I'm gone for a day I miss you like crazy and can't wait to come home, scoop you up, and smother you with kisses. When at all possible I just take you with me because I hate to be away from you. I don't know how I'm going to make it through a whole month without you.
I love you so much, Baby and am incredibly proud of you.
Don't ever forget it.
All my love,
Tori amma
Brianna is still in need of monthly sponsors to ensure her daily needs are being met. If Brianna has been placed on your heart, please comment below or shoot me an email and I will be happy to send you more information about sponsorship. Thank you!
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