Miss You Already

Dear Promise,

When I first moved to India you were the one of my 7 kids I knew the least.  It took me a while to get to know you and even longer to really create a bond with you.

You were hard to get to know at first.  It took time.

But it was worth it.

I would spend 20 minutes or so with you every morning.  Just you and me.  We would sit and listen to music or read books or play with toys.  Sometimes we would go for a walk up to the roof and just sit together.  You would hold my hand and I would tickle you and make funny sounds in your ears just to hear you laugh.

 I grew to love you so much and I always treasured those special times with you.

Then things got busy.

We moved to the big city and added a few more members to our family.  I would do PT and school with you but found less and less time to just sit with you.  I got so busy, most of my time with you became a check list.

That is one of my biggest regrets.

Today you moved to a new home.  You now have sisters your age to play with, attend school classes with, and who will talk to you and spend time with you.  You are in a home much more suited to your needs.  I know it is what is best for you.

You are just down the street so we'll visit you often but I'm still going to miss you.

I'm going to miss the fun little sounds you make.  The "show" and "hasss" and "ee-ee-ee-ee" ringing through the house.

I'm going to miss the times you just start cracking up out of the blue and laugh for 10 minutes straight.  I always try to imagine what you could possibly be thinking about!

I'm going to miss the way you constantly remind me what quiet strength and joy look like.

I'm going to miss you.

And now, looking back on the past year, I wish I would have done things differently.

I wish I would have taken more time to just enjoy you.  I wish I would have made the most of the time with you I was given.  I wish I could have given you more.

I sit here tonight with a heavy heart, praying you know how much I love you.  I pray you know that through the past year and a half my love for you has only grown stronger.  I pray that while I wish I had given you more, what I gave you made you feel loved and valued - because you are.

Even though we are only a few years apart in age, I still have a mother's love for you.  And even though you are no longer mine to care for, you will always hold a very special place in my heart.

I am so happy for you and what the future holds for you at Jubilee Home.  I know you will be so happy and loved there.  I am glad you now have a mother and father figure who will be there for you for a very long time.

I am also so very grateful for the time I had with you.

I wish you knew how much you have taught me and how you have changed my life for the better.

I love you so much, sweet girl.

Miss you already.

All my love,

Tori akka

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