I have wanted to write about Lily for a while now but keep putting it off because I know it will be hard and am afraid that I won't do her justice with my words. I have now come to the realization that I will never be able to do this beautiful girl justice but that shouldn't stop me from sharing as best I can, so here it goes...
I haven't known Lily long but have heard from others that until recently she had trouble forming attachments. She "loved" everyone she met and would give hugs and kisses to whoever asked for them (or didn't ask...). Over the past 6 months though, I think Lily has learned what it really means to love - and she does it better than anyone I have ever met. She has started forming loving attachments to those she knows are 'family' and for the most part has healthy interactions with those that aren't.
Under the care of foster moms Sarah and Nikki, she began letting her walls down and really allowing people into her heart after the abandonment and hurt she has experienced in the past. When the two of them left a few weeks ago, I was afraid she would close back up and shut me out, not understanding why yet another two people she loved were leaving her. Nikki, Sarah, and I prayed that somehow she would understand and react in a healthy way.
That prayer was answered.
The morning Nikki and Sarah left, Lily cried. Yet she also knew that I was family now too and came to me for comfort. The thing I was afraid would put a wall between us, God used to bring us even closer together. In the next two weeks, both the ayahs that had been in this home for months had to take leave for medical reasons and since then we have seemingly had new ayahs almost every day. Still, Lily knows that I am here and that I truly love her and we are only growing closer as things around us change.
Today a team that is here for the month came and helped me bring four of my kids to church which was such a blessing as I can usually only take one. Lily let them hold her and she played with them but after they left, she came and laid her head on my knee, asked me to cuddle her, and gave me a big kiss. She knows that they are friends and I am family.
Over the past few weeks Lily and I have gotten very close and every day when I don't think it's possible I could love her more, God shows me even greater depths of His love and gives me a little more of it for her.
Loving Lily is one of the best things in the world and being loved by her in return is a close second!
Every time she lays her head on my lap, reaches her arms out for a hug, gives me a kiss, wakes me up in the morning to cuddle with her, comforts me when she somehow knows I'm having a tough day, or calls for me underneath my door as I'm trying to write (as she just did), my heart melts. She is also great for my self esteem as she thinks I am hilarious and laughs at all my jokes and goofy faces! :)
Not only does she love me well, she also loves each of her siblings deeply and is the little 9 year old mommy of this home. She holds Promise's hand when she is getting catheterized, brings Molly toys and reads her books, just laughs and looks at me with a knowing glance when Jasmine pulls or pushes her over, scolds Nolan when he is doing something he shouldn't, and always wants to help me brush their teeth, pick out the clothes for the next day, dry them after baths, whatever she can do to help.
She also prays for us every night before bed which may be my favorite thing about her. Not the fact that she prays but that she desires to pray. Out of all the dreams I have for my kids, the one I desire the most is that they will each know God and I have no doubt in my mind that Lily knows and loves her Heavenly Father.
It shows in the way she loves and cares for those around her. It shows in the way she raises her hands in worship and kneels to pray with the other women in church. It shows in the way she puts others before herself. It shows in the way she dances and jumps up and down when we worship together every night and puts her hands on each one of us and prays. It shows in the joy that she has, regardless of what she has been through in the past.
God has done a mighty work in this daughter of His. He has taken a girl in some of the worst of circumstances and brought her to a place of love and healing. In His love, she is slowly healing, loving, and growing. The world may say that she is broken, but God says that she is whole.
Through Him, Lily has a bright future. She has high hopes and desires for herself and is continually proving to herself and the world that with the Lord she can and will accomplish them.
She now knows letters A-I very well (introducing J tomorrow) and numbers 1-5. She is also beginning to grasp the concept of counting and is matching colors and shapes. Her motor skills are improving, she has learned to feed herself, and her newest accomplishment is starting to walk! She has Cerebral Palsy and also had surgery a few years ago to correct clubbed feet but with the help of AFOs she is walking all the way across the living room on her own! She is so proud of herself!
My dream is to see her walk on her own into a mainstream school. I can't imagine a greater moment for this special girl.
Please pray that Lily would continue to grow, heal, and have healthy relationships with those around her. Please pray that she would continue to do well as I home school her (and that I would have wisdom in doing so) and that we will succeed in getting her into a real school soon.
Lily, I love you so much and can see Jesus so clearly in you. You have taught me a lot yet I know there is still so much I could learn from you. I can't wait to see how else God is going to use you and what your future holds!
No comments:
Post a Comment